A slam poem to woo Bald Agency

A little bit of the Bald Agency web aesthetic.

Bald Agency put out the word that they were looking for a Senior Copywriter who could “coif clever, concise copy that breaks through the noise and compels readers to pay attention – and take action.” And then they added, “Want to try your hand at hair punnery? Write us even better ones.”

Well, I sure as heck wasn’t just going to let that lie like a cowlick! I combined their values (joyful, exceptional, fresh, changemaker, boldness, brave, strategic, and smooth) and then laid down some mad beats (well, in my head anyway). Here’s what I sent along with my cover letter and resume:

Attention Hillel Hurwitz and the rest of the Bald team

I read your Senior Copywriter position on LinkedIn. You want to bring the bald? Let’s do this like our forefathers: poetry slam style…off the dome.

What does it mean to go bald,

to step fully into that brucewillisian abyss,

to wipe away the ordinary and begin fresh with a blank pate?

We must baldly go like Picard, unadorned, shorn, and never forlorn.

We must seek out our inner Fudd, who found peace despite being hairless (and hareless)

We must be as joyful as a Wayans,

As exceptional as a Jordan.

We must be as fresh as Brynner made it every night

We must make change like Sinead

And find boldness in our Grace Jonesness.

We must be brave like Ellen Ripley,

Strategic like Ike,

And as smooth as the epithets flowing from Sam Jackson’s lips.

We are debonair with a dab of Nair.

We are business up front and party in the back AND what’s more: vice versa!

We are more than the fantasy of your follicles.

We are Bald!

Anyway, I sent it off, so we’ll see! Oh, and if you’re Hillel Hurwitz or someone else at Bald and this tickles you at all, my resume is in your inbox.

The Lengths I Go To was my (thankfully) limited-series blog wherein I shared the different ways I tried to stand out during my job search. I did six of these, got three interviews and one job, so…..yeah!