Will a pony-pandering video script help get me a job at Splunk?
BREAKING NEWS: 8/28/2022 I got an interview! Will keep you updated!
BREAKING-ER NEWS: 8/30/2022 First interview went well; will keep you posted!
BREAKING-EST NEWS: 11/21/2022 My first day at Splunk!
Splunk creates data platforms that make data accessible, usable, and valuable to everyone. They’re looking for a copywriter to help them with talent marketing. I know that their mascot is a pony named Buttercup so I wrote an animated video script about what it means to be a pony. It stars Buttercup and me and incorporates all their values (innovation, passion, disruption, openness, and fun). Okay, here’s what I sent along with my cover letter and resume:
Dear Buttercup and the Splunk team!
I saw your posting for a Talent Marketing Copywriter and I just could not say NEIGH! I have 11+ years as a digital marketer AND 7+ years as an educator; it’s almost like you wrote this job description specifically for me, right? It got me so excited, I wrote this script on the spot:
NARRATOR (CLIFF): When I was a child, my friends wanted to be astronauts and cowboys and dancers and presidents. Open on young CLIFF MCCLOE at a playground filled with other children. He observes a child playing astronaut, another playing cowboy, another a dancer, another a president.
NARRATOR (CLIFF): But I wanted to be a pony. CLIFF drops onto all fours, galloping, and neighing.
NARRATOR (CLIFF): Many people felt a need to respond. A montage of overlapping, harsh-looking faces appear. Each face is matched with an offscreen ghostly voice. The voices overlap, too.
ANNOYED MALE VOICE #1:A pony is not a job. You are a boy.
ANNOYED FEMALE VOICE #1: Stop being weird.
ANNOYED ELDER MALE VOICE: There’s never been a pony in this family.
WORRIED FEMALE VOICE #2: What did we do wrong?
ANNOYED FEMALE VOICE #1: Raw oats is not a breakfast.
ANNOYED MALE VOICE #1: Are you making clip-clop noises with your mouth?
NARRATOR (CLIFF): But then someone wiser asked, “WHY do you want to be a pony?” The montage/collage of faces blows away and is replaced by a single question mark.
NARRATOR (CLIFF): So, I told them. CLIFF smiles and looks up. A dream world begins to build out above him.
NARRATOR (CLIFF): A pony is innovation in motion, adjusting for the terrain, planning the next jump a hundred yards back. We see BUTTERCUP running at full speed, jumping over rocks and streams.
NARRATOR (CLIFF): A pony is passion. Just ask his mustang ancestors–if you can catch them. We see BUTTERCUP stomping his front hooves.
NARRATOR (CLIFF): A pony is disruption. The clamor of its hooves. The whirlwind of dust in its wake. We zoom in on those hooves, a tornado of dust all around.
NARRATOR (CLIFF): A pony is openness. Where we go next is a sacred collaboration of heart and mind. We zoom out to see that BUTTERCUP is galloping side-by-side with a CLIFF-looking pony.
NARRATOR (CLIFF): And a pony is fun. Because, well, look how fun this is! BUTTERCUP and CLIFF traipse through a stream, kicking up water in a spirit of delight.
NARRATOR (CLIFF): I am now grown, a full-grown pony, brave and true. We exit the dream world and find the grown-up CLIFF pony galloping over hill and dale.
NARRATOR (CLIFF): I hear that other people want to be ponies but maybe need a little help. CLIFF pauses at a wooden gate. At the top of the gate is a wooden ranch sign that reads SPLUNK. A ranch house can be seen in the distance.
NARRATOR (CLIFF): So, I’ve turned on my haunches, galloping full steam and steed ahead, answering the call. CLIFF gallops full steam ahead.
NARRATOR (CLIFF): Because the world needs more ponies, more ponies brave and true. CLIFF approaches the ranchhouse to the delight of BUTTERCUP and a string of other ponies.
Anyway, I sent it off, so we’ll see! Oh, and if you’re an influential Splunker and this tickles you at all, give me a shout!
The Lengths I Go To was my (thankfully) limited-series blog wherein I shared the different ways I tried to stand out during my job search. I did six of these, got three interviews and one job, so…..yeah!
