3 Things I Wish I Knew About Splunk Before I Took A Job There!
Look how freaking happy Splunk’s mascot Buttercup is! What’s that all about? Through some hard-hitting investigation, I found out the truth.
I just finished my contract job as a copywriter for Splunk’s Talent Marketing Team. Observant readers may recall that I originally got Splunk’s attention with a pony-pandering video script that I posted on this very blog! For the last 10 months, my teammates and I have been building the organization’s talent brand from scratch. The upshot for you, dear reader? I’ve gotten to see behind the scenes into almost every department. So, if you’re ready for the dirt, I’m ready to dish.
The Truth Behind Their “People-Centric” Culture
I heard a lot about how “people-centric” Splunk was from their recruiter (big surprise, right?) So, what’s the reality? Well, the culture is okay, I guess, as long you like a company that:
Names employee experience its number one initiative,
Holds weekly town halls where you can ask the Executive Leadership Team anything.
Gives full-time employees five paid volunteer days and four global rest days (where the whole company takes off just because.)
Publishes an annual Diversity Report and a Global Impact Report that highlights the strides the company has made in those areas.
Offers a quarterly reimbursement for well-being expenses.
Offers a wide variety of family-forming benefits.
Takes big steps to give its employees as much flexibility as it can.
I mean, come on! How people-centric can they be if their mascot is a pony? More like horse-sense-tric, right? Because of horses. Watch out, Splunk! This roast is getting dark.
What’s the deal with all those weird plaques on the wall?
There were times at Splunk where I just wanted to turn my email off. I mean, like, it seemed like every day we’d get another email about some new fancy plaque they installed. Like there was a Millennial plaque and Technology Workplace plaque and a Bay Area plaque and some Early Career plaque and a plaque from something called the Human Rights Campaign Corporate Equality Index (whatever that is, right?), and just a whole bunch of other plaques.You know who doesn’t have any plaque? Me, because Splunk offered medical and dental, even as a contractor. Take that, Buttercup!
“You’re gonna LOVE your team!” Oh yeah, recruiter lady? We’ll see about that!
So, when I started, everybody on the Talent Marketing team seemed really friendly. “Uh-huhhhhhh. We’ll see how long THAT lasts,” I thought. Well, after 10 months I have no choice but to report that the jury’s still out because everyone has been nice this whole time. Well, to my face. And over Slack. And on Zoom calls. And when they reached out when there were some health issues in my family. And when my boss donated to the Humane Society on my behalf when she heard I had a dog. And when everyone came together to help me write a 20,000-word mega-document, even though it wasn’t “technically” a part of their “job description.”
The truth is: there’s no telling how long that niceness could have lasted. Sure would have liked the opportunity to stick around a little longer so I could see what REALLY goes on once you pass the 11-month mark. Probably more niceness, right? But you never know.
So, what’s the final verdict?
Well, I know how it was for me but, to be safe, I would highly recommend you do your own research so you can see what really goes on there for yourself. You know, maybe go undercover, sign up for their job alerts, find a job you like, ask me for a reference, get hired there, take advantage of all their career development opportunities, grow your career in an environment that allows you to bring your authentic self, really dig in and THEN report back. Then we’ll see if you’ll miss it as much as I’m going to miss it. Yeah, we’ll see!
The truth is out there.
The Lengths I Will Go To is my (hopefully) limited-series blog wherein I usually share the different ways I try to stand out during my job search. Rather not see more content like this? Hire me and I promise I’ll stop!
