The letter I wrote to Elon on behalf of Boundless Immigration

I am a big believer in writing for a specific audience. Knowing that Elon is one of the world’s richest people, I wrote a missive under the assumption that his vocabulary is as fancy as his stock portfolio. And, being the self-serving opportunist that I am, I’ve paired the letter with this portfolio for your perusal.

An Open Letter to Elon Musk in Reference to an Identified Delinquency in the Certitude of Your Claims

Firstly, we would be remiss if we did not congratulate you on how cleverly you’ve insinuated yourself into some of the world’s latest and greatest innovations. It’s understandable how your unmatched successes in purchasing other people’s technology might elicit great confidence in your abilities in arenas with which you may not be as familiar. Of course, regarding oneself as a myth in one’s own mind is the prerogative of any person whose path is their own.

But when the myths in one’s mind begin to escape one’s lips and find their way onto the popular social media application of which one might be the purveyor, it might be wise to take the time to educate oneself so that one might better illuminate one’s faithful readers. If you were to find yourself disposed to take the counsel of America’s premier family immigration company, we at Boundless Immigration would be more than honored to instruct.

A Rebuttal of The Particular Canard Regarding the Suffrage of Non-citizens

You posted how surprised you were that “illegals”—an unfortunate word and one we would never choose—are not prevented from voting in federal elections. You may then find yourself even more surprised to hear reporting that the statement in question is false. When you’re not busy delivering master classes in advertiser relations, we would direct you to peruse The Illegal Immigration Reform and Immigrant Responsibility Act of 1996, which outlaws non-citizen voting in federal elections.

Regarding the Purported Evils of the Convention of Automatic Voter Registration

You’ve also spun some spine-chilling tales of the evils of automatic voter registration wherein you claim it doesn’t allow for citizenship verification. You’ve woven a story of a nefarious cabal of “ballot harvesters” who snatch illegal ballots and mail them in under the cover of night—all secretly in service of tipping the scales towards a particular political party.

Let us be the first to correct your assuredly unintentional error. First of all, every state takes clear steps to ensure that all registered voters are citizens of the United States. Second, non-citizen voting is demonstrably rare. Think on it: if you journeyed thousands of dusty miles for a better life, would you risk imprisonment and deportation just to cast a vote? Recent research, which you are seemingly unfamiliar with, has determined that it takes considerably more fortitude to peregrinate thousands of miles by foot than it does to traverse the same distance by the cosmic conveyances of which you are verifiably acquainted. (Source)

With Respect to the Denigration Leveled Against Seemingly Stalwart Legislative Proposals

You’ve delivered more than a few choice words about a border security bill that, as happenstance would have it, was penned by one of the most conservative voices in the Senate. You claim the bill enabled “illegals”—there’s that lamentable word choice again—to vote. But you may be surprised to learn that the bill does not actually provide a citizenship path for undocumented citizens. As gentle-hearted cohorts on the terrestrial plains we all share, we are reticent to cast stones. But your words have forced us to acknowledge that your sources for such claims are, dare we say, undocumented.

A Plea to Pursue a Course of Introspection

While you are indubitably America’s most famous immigrant (with a well-documented level of self-awareness, to boot), there’s no reason you have to be America’s most famous immigrant myth spreader (well, second most famous, but who’s keeping score?) Fear not! There’s no shame in learning from your mistakes. As our most recent former president has taught us, the first step towards redemption is to seek admittance of your error.

To avoid further embarrassment, may we suggest arming yourself with verified immigration education information before you post on the subject again? If we may be so bold, we’d wager that you’d be better served to garner new knowledge from a trusted source—perhaps an organization that has helped tens of thousands of people confidently, rapidly, and affordably navigate the American immigration system.

Awaiting your response with all the humbleness and eagerness you deserve,

The Boundless Immigration Team